How many people work for humanclock.com, who finances it?
Just one, me. There are no target markets, focus groups, or overpaid "visionary" CEOs who think they are the next Steve Jobs working here. There is no "shadow company" financing this website (well, a nice woman in California mailed me $5.00 once, and a guy in Florida offered to mail me his kids' allowance money).
Why do you have that old picture of yourself on the contact page, what is the point?
I've noticed that a lot of people/celebrities my age (~30) all say they "were the biggest dork/nerd in school", this is my way of proving that I earned the title. The photo is from Franklin Junior High in Yakima, WA. It is a group photo of all the kids in their extracurricular activity groups...yep, I was in the computers group.
When I typed in "humanclock.com", I mistyped it and left out a very significant letter. Is that site yours too?
Yes.
Whatever happened to the original 11:11am girl's email address?
I removed her email address at her request, because she was getting more email than she could respond to, some of it creepy, some of it flattering. Check back soon and there might be a new 11:11 girl and/or boy.
That girl/guy at [1-12]:[00-59] am|pm timeslot is hot/cute/sexy/wanted in three states, can I meet them?
I don't know most of the people on the clock, if you see someone on the clock a lot I might know them though. Sometimes auctions are ran for the 11:11am "I need a date" timeslot.
My kid laughs every time the clock in our house turns to 4:20 am/pm, what is up with that?
Hints: Cheech and Chong, Nancy Reagan, D.A.R.E, the "War on Drugs" thingy, plant, Bob Marley, eating cookie dough, huh..what was the question?, what Willie Nelson did on the roof of the Whitehouse, Rainy Day Women #12 & 35, "I'm a joker...smoker...I'm a midnight toker"...you get the idea. How it actually came to be associated with 4:20, well, there are about 800 different theories Last but not least, it probably has nothing to do the the closing time of the post office in Little America, Wyoming (thanks to Fletcher for sending me this).
I'm from the Eastern United States, and some of your captions are wrong. Some clock pictures have pretty mountains and lakes in them and the caption reads "Washington". I've never seen anything like this in Washington, were they backdrops at the Smithsonian?
No, these were taken in a little known place in the Northwestern United States called "Washington". It is one of the 50 Often-United States, I kid you not. If your computer OS choice seems limited or your 80's Heavy Metal band became extinct, something in this state was probably the cause.
Did someone actually ask you the question above?
No, I made it up. I speak on behalf of everyone in Washington though. I listened to the radio a lot growing up. The national news would come on and I'd always hear the announcer say things like, "Thousands of attractive women are currently running naked through the streets of Washington!" I'd sprint outside and not see anyone, then realize they meant Washington D.C.
Ok then, why do you violate English grammar rules and put a period outside of a quotation when it should be on the inside, like in the case above with "Washington"?
Maybe this is because I come from a computer science background where things are done logically and some sense of order is maintained with a solid yes/no answer, but if a period was part of the original quotation I would have quoted it.
What is your mission statement? In today's busy world you must have mission statement!
Uh, to serve time. I've had a variety of jobs over the years and have grown weary of such trite little sayings as "We have an unbridled desire to create happy guests". (this was from a restaurant, not a whorehouse)
Why don't have any advertising on this site, how are you making any money? It is a website, you should be trying to make money on it!
Um, that's why it is humanclock.COM! (If you look up "losing money" in a thesuarus, you will see ".com" next to it.) Money wasn't my motivation for building this website, getting a photo of myself in USA Today that was five times the size of Madonna's, was. Being January 1st, 2003 on those page-a-day desk calendars was pretty cool too. If my primary goal were to make money, this website would be be wearing more advertising than most schoolchildren. I am not anti-advertising, but I do read Adbusters.
This looks like a blatant attempt to meet girls.
Nope, never done such a thing. My buddy Dave in Perth, Australia tried it once though.
Why are the website copyright dates in hexidecimal numbers?
Because everyone else uses decimal numbers. Once hexidecimal numbering becomes mainstream, I'll go octal, that or I'll pull a nostalgic retro move and go back to using decimal numbers.
Is that dodgy looking cardboard/numbers sign that shows up in a lot of the photos the same one?
Yup. It has been quite well-travelled too. top of Mt. Adams, giant new Zealand weatherwomen, parties, kayaking in new zealand, in a 66 corvette, a guy named Brad Pitt, photographed though a moving car, Richard Buckner shows off 8:14pm. It has been to the potty in Los Angeles where George Michael got setup/busted. It's hung out with Hendrix. Last but not least it was carried 12,500 miles around Australia on the back of my bicycle.
Mmmm, yeah, why did you go out of your way to call your statistics page a "TPS Report"?
Go rent the movie "Office Space", that is where the "TPS Report" phrase came from. Heck, once you've seen the movie you might be able to chat up a cute boy/girl at a party with lines from the movie. (tip: quoting lines from Iron Eagle doesn't reel in the girls, trust me).
What is the "Canyon Bomber Format" as indicated on the TPS report?
This is a homage to the 1978 Atari 2600 game "Canyon Bomber", programmed by David Crane. Why anyone would drop bombs from a plane to blow up striated rock in a canyon is beyond me. Maybe this was a better name than "block hitter". For you nerdy trivia buffs, David later went on to produce the landmark game "Pitfall" for the Atari 2600.
Where are those cute little dotty icons from? I have seen them before somewhere but can't remember where.
Apple ][e, Imagewriter II printer, and a program called Printshop. To make these two little icons, I had to fire up my old Apple computer. I was amazed at how that 17 year old 5.25 inch disc booted right up and I had my icons printed in about two minutes.
If you ever walked down a school hallway in the mid 80's, you probably some sign made with Printshop. I remember one time in junior high in 1985 a kid printed out a 20 foot long banner on the printer ("PARTY HEARTY DUDES!!!!! WOOOOHOOO!"), I'll never forget the look on the computer teacher's face. Oh yeah, did you know there is a driving game hidden in the PrintShop Companion? (boot side B, press Control-open apple-6)
Many of the photo caption fonts were printed on an old Panasonic dot-matrix printer using my Tandy 1000 SX. (on sale w/ CM-5 16 color CGA monitor for $899!)
How come your first name is Daniel but you answer your emails as "Craig"?
My parents decided to call me by my middle name so I could be different. They weren't hippy parents with names like Stormy Willow and Radiant Moonflower, listening to Freedom Rock. (dude! Is that Freedom Rock? Yeah Man! Well turn it up! )
Wait my Mum (photo at right) actually has Freedom Rock on vinyl, uh oh. For those of you not in the know, Freedom Rock (circa 1988) was a specially priced 2-volume set ($19.95 LP/Tape, $24.95 CD) that had a pretty cheezy commercial.
Dude, is that actually you in that camaro picture on the submit photos page?
Yup. Had a mullet too. I don't own either anymore. If you ever see [my] Sister Teresa, ask her about it. Roughly quoting her: "all I can remember about that car was driving to school and......Warrant!"
Are those Atari 2600 and Tandy Model 100 "Webservers" for real?
Well, let's put it this way. PEEK and POKE are common BASIC commands, but the others???? I seriously didn't expect to hoax anyone with the Tandy Model 100 webserver. It caused quite a tizzy on slashdot.org in August 2001. I spent a few hundred hours collecting photos and building the original humanclock.com site. I spent about two of those hours making the webserver page. Yet most of the slashdot discussion was over the webserver.
Is that really a certified yoga instructor in those crazy pictures?
Yup
Those yoga poses that the webservers are doing are not yoga pose names!
You are correct, they are actually song titles from the band Guided by Voices.
Did you handwrite all of those captions?
Sorta, I wrote out several different "fonts" and scanned them in. I wrote a perl script which takes a text string and then builds an image containing the text string in whatever font I choose. In order to keep things a little more rough, several different instances of the same "font" are used, along with random spacing/positioning of each letter. Growing up I was told that I needed better handwriting, little did they know that my terrible penmanship would soon serve as functional art.
Why? This site is "gay". This site is stooooooooooooooooooooooooooooopid!
Dude, it's not my fault you are not old enough to drive and are are stuck in front of the computer on a Friday/Saturday night. Go play Quake or something and leave me alone. Take a shower too. (Please ignore the fact that I spent most of 1989-90 tying up my parents phone line with my 1200 baud modem.)
You have too much time on your hands! Why did you waste your time on this?
The same could be said for someone sitting though a generic Hollywood action movie or someone mindlessly flipping though TV channels complaining that there is "nothing on". It is just how I choose to spend my free time.
That clock photo with the little boy is, like, so incredibly boring and uninteresting. Why do you put such lame photos into the site?
- or -
That clock photo with the little boy is wonderful! Everyone in our office loves all of the color and excitement within that photo!
A girl I know used to live in LA while growing up. Down the street were two blonde-haired twins who she was friends with. At the same time 1,159 miles away, the first girl I ever kissed was totally in love with these two blonde-haired twins. Irony aside, the point of this paragraph is that the father of these two blonde-haired twins once wrote:
"You see, you can't please everyone,
so you got to please yourself."
Thanks, Rick.
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